The Lazy Gardener Has Failed

Wouldn't it be lovely, if gardening only consisted of good things.  Good things, like this:

and this:

and even this:

But it doesn't.  Instead we have to deal with the good, the bad and the ugly.  Right now the bad and ugly are overwhelming me.  I can't remember a time when I had weeds four feet tall, but I have them now.  A few neighbors along my fence-line never weed, so that makes my job tough, and one feeds her pets (meaning wild birds) thistle seed.  It's probably the worst seed to feed birds in gardening terms, not bird terms.  The thistles are everywhere and multiplying rapidly.  Not that I am perfect.  I am far from that.  I have labeled myself the Lazy Gardener.  I do that well.  So last year I gave up.  Big mistake.  Honestly, I think the Phentermine in my system ran out and all my gardening frenzy before was chemically induced.  Yikes...that's a story for another day.  This year I am paying in spades.  Not the gardening kind of spades, which I imagine would be a good thing.  HA!

The time has come.  Time to take serious action.  The animals think this yard is a wildlife sanctuary and are claiming it as their own.  Animals are a good thing, but not in herds.  The word is out in the animal kingdom that the "kegger" is here and there is a line at the fence gate.  Among the animals moving in or through in the last six months have been the usual, rabbits, chipmunks, gophers and squirrels, but more recently there has been fox, mink, possums and a raccoon.  They all can stay, except the raccoon.  That dude does his business under my pool deck.  Let's just say sitting and relaxing with friends and neighbors isn't as wonderful when the smell is noxious.  Ugh.  I need Billy the Exterminator stat!

So this is the plan.  Regular lists don't work with me.  I need the embarrassment of photos for the public to see and heckle me about.  Behold my back yard with a to-do list included.  Pretty smart, right?

Standing on my back steps going clockwise:

Yeah....monstrous.  Insurmountable.  Joyless.  OK...realistically none of the painting will get done.  I hate painting.  I will hire someone for that.  But the rest is do-able.  Well, maybe not the building of the lattice screen.  It's do-able, but not by me.  I am the Lazy Gardener after all.  I don't want to shock anyone, especially myself.  So this is my goal for the week.  I will report back next week and then we will tackle another area of the yard.  If I live. 

Wish me luck.